me, every single month without fail: huh weird I feel kind of bloated and lethargic but also very hungry??? and I’m breaking out??? and my back hurts??? this is so strange I have never experienced this before in my whole entire life… what could this be
me a few days later, every single month without fail: oh
That’s a smooth $100 in cash and – since I don’t buy weed and I’m That Dude who only smokes everybody elses – I have no idea how much herb this is but it definitely ain’t enough for me to be like OMG Thank you NYPD for keeping our streets safe.
I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if I knew at least seven people right this moment holding this much green on them because they were either about to sell it or just bought it. I live near Columbia University okay? Them Connors and Bradleys stay having backpacks of marijuana parceled out for sale in various sizes.
But it’s gang members with this Mary so I should be thankful. Gangs are bad. Gangs dealing drugs are bad. Gangs are not shooting each other up over marijuana. That’s just so not part of the game.
Nothing about me feels like Queens just got safer because of this lil moment of grandstanding and if the NYPD really wants me to be all “wow, our brave officers, cleaning up the streets” they’ll tweet out pics of cops arresting their own for planting drugs and beating up on suspects. Then I’ll feel safer. Some dude on his way to get the party started or hustle to make rent is not threatening my quality of life in the least.